dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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