i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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