Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
