Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
