Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
there is puke in my bra ... again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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