I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How does one acquire holy water?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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