I'm drive I can fine osifer
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
tell me about the eggs
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
