Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
