I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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