I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
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Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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