i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Shame is for Republicans.
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