i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
