my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
