I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize