If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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