Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
