Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize