2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
