Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
