I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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