he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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