I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
