Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am midnight drunk by noon
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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