how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
