yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
