playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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