i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
