I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Semen is not good for contacts.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
