Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
