Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize