Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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