ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
