I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
