they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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