bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
