whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
