Kiss
Puke
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
