What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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