did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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