your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
