I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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