i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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