is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
