maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
