More tranny stories later!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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