I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
