So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
