My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
