you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
