I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
