youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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