i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
