Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
