Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
