Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
