What a fucking waste of an outfit
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
