This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
