We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
