The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think my moral compass just broke
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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