let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
