STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
