Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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