I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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